things I've learnt, and things I'm still yet to learn

14 April 2018

It weirds me out beyond belief that my friends are turning 19 and that soon I'll be 19 and then after that I'll be 20 which seems like the official age of adulthood. It stresses me out that with getting older comes all these new social experiences that no one teaches you how to behave in. There are questions in my life that still haven't been answered, there are new questions arising almost every day, but with me and my friends it is the blind leading the blind. Maybe that stretches beyond me and my friends though, I don't know if anyone has answers to half the things I have questions about, but then there are some questions I have that I know some people must have answers to but I just find it impossible to come up with an answer myself.

just for the record, I stole this pic from Katies blog but since I'm the model I figured it was okay
However, despite all the questions I have and the fact that since getting older my brain has become more dominated by question marks than full stops, there are some things I have learnt. Some answer the questions that drift around my mind, but most things I have learnt have no relevance to any questions I've ever had.

Things I have learnt since I've gotten older:
-There is so much more to life than just plain humus. Branch out and try something new, my personal faves are beetroot hummus and Moroccan hummus.
-Not everyone likes ABBA
-If you miss someone, chances are they miss you too but it's important to not let the feelings of missing overwhelm you- you got to recognise whether is a longing for the way things used to be between you two or whether you actually miss the current them as well. If it's the latter, don't be afraid to get back in touch.
-Not everyone washes their feet in the shower with soap and, to be perfectly honest, I just find this very strange. At first I thought my friends were dirty, but more and more people have said they don't put soap on their feet in the shower and I can't figure out if this is a normal thing or not
-A mist of anger can become too thick to see through, so never reply when you're angry
-Break ups are complicated and hard. Before, in films/novels I never fully understood a parents desire to be there for their kids first 'heart break', I always thought people went through many breakups in their life, so in my head a heart break couldn't be that bad. I wish I had recognised the title of heart break more, I wish I could have understood that there is a reason 'break' is in the title, yet break doesn't even begin to do the feeling justice. I wish I could have understood that breakups aren't always as black and white as they're made out to be, that sometimes a breakup means you both have to force yourselves out of love for things to be okay. Now I know though, I understand the twists of a heartbreak and that a breakup isn't all that simple. I feel more prepared for any future breakups that may happen.
-Medjooli dates are delicious.
-The world can be so cruel, so you got to do some small things to make it better
-Literally everyones life is falling apart, social media just shows the good shit and some people use it to trick themselves into the illusion that their life is together since their Instagram is full of good times, but in reality we're all just falling apart.
-Some friendships need to be dropped, and it can be so difficult but they just do sometimes. Don't worry about seeming cruel, because if a friendship feels bad to you then it's bad for the both of you- it can be hard but sometimes you just got to cut that person out your life. Don't be afraid to unfollow them on social media, once you no longer have constant reminders of that person in your life your anger and bitterness will fade. Just don't mistake the feelings of fading anger as you wanting to be their friend again (and don't follow them back after a while as unfollowing someone twice on Instagram is just awkward)
-People who are 100% good aren't necessarily small and weak. And yes, these people who are filled with purely good intentions do exist.
-Dance! Dance when you're out, sing along to the songs!

Things I haven't learnt
-When I'm meant to pay for myself and when my mum is meant to pay for me. Do I pay for my own bedding? Do we split the price of my work uniform? Do I buy a Diet Coke if we're out and about together or will she?
-I don't know if I'm allowed to turn the heating on whenever I want, even though I am an adult
-How to stop being angry at someone
-How to walk away after you've hooked up with someone (apparently curtsying is the wrong thing to do)
-How to say no
-How to stand up for myself
-How to stop comparing myself
-How to have self control and not eat an entire jar of peanut butter within 72 hours of buying it
-How to go from acquaintances to friends with some people. Do you know what I mean when you know someone, but they already have an idea of you and you feel like you can't exceed what they already know of you so you live by the person they think you are despite desperately wanting to break that boundary and become an actual friend rather than that girl they see on a night out? I'm not sure how to explain.
-How to stop watching my life from a distance and actually experience it and follow the voice of reason rather than my overpowering selfish instincts

There are many other things I don't know, many other things I don't think I ever will know and a shit ton of things I will never understand. I'm trying to live by a quote though, that we should try to understand less and accept more. My desperate wish to understand some things is highly annoying and inappropriate at times so I'm trying to just accept the fact some things happen and reasons/labels/explanations aren't always necessary- or even possible. Even though I don't understand why not everything can be explained (ugh). Anyway, see you soon dudes!

26 comments

  1. I LOVE THIS!!! honestly you just seem like the word 'cool' you have such a cool understanding of life and just being like a normal girl. I completely understand the friendship part though it hurts but if its bringing you down its got to happen sadly :(( love reading ya blogggggg!! xxx

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    1. Ahaha I am the furthest thing from cool- but thank you! x

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  2. I’m fully laughing out loud at imagining you curtsying! Definitely something I’d do out of awkwardness! I’m also learning how to stop eating my body weight in crisps and dip, haven’t quite accomplished it yet! X

    Kate// itskaterose.com

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    1. Oh god Kate it was one of the most embarrassing nights of my life and the curtsey just topped it off- it doesn't go down well! x

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  3. Not everyone likes ABBA? Wtf is wrong with them??
    But seriously, I think your questions are 100% reasonable. It's hard to know how to do these things! I'm almost 22 and I don't know any of these answers

    - Iona
    asweetdestination.blogspot.com

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    1. Ah god, are there even any answers for any of these questions!? Also, I know- shocking about the ABBA thing and, I'm not going to lie, it still disappoints me

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  4. Nope, I did not realise Beetroot hummus existed either, when I was in London on thurs, me and my best friend went to a vegan restaurant called Eat By Chloe and they had beetroot ketchup, but sometimes you shouldn't branch out and I think think we'll be sticking with just tomato ketchup next time although it was nice to try something new. Your writings on friendship speak so much truth and growing up does help make those realisations clearer sometimes. Loved it <3

    eleanorclaudie.com

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    1. I have never heard of Eat By Chloe, nor have I ever heard of beetroot ketchup but now I am so intrigued and I think I have to go and try it (although in my head I can't imagine it tasting nice??) my mums friend told me she ate beetroot sorbet the other day and I'm slightly weirded out by that. Thanks Eleanor! :)x

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  5. You should try dates and bananas in a smoothie, I think you'd love it. The point about not knowing when your mum should and shouldn't buy things for you sounds so painful, it seems like one of the stranger things about being an 'adult' and living with parents ah. I loved reading through these as it feels as if it would be a normal conversation that we probably had on the train to and from Brighton, your posts are so relaxed and candid which is my favourite thing. Sending you positive vibes always!

    Dalal // dalaltahira.com

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    1. Oh my god a date and banana smoothie sounds so nice, I'm going to give it a go (although I never really know what time of day/level of hunger to have a smoothie). Thank you Dalal!!x

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  6. 1. Moroccan humus is so. good. 2. your thoughts on people and their lives and friendships were so refreshing and reassuring and rational 3. I HAVE THAT problem with my mum–do I pay for my external hard drive that I'llhave to work for 15 hours to earn??? do I offer to pay for coffee when we are out??? Its so complicated. I resonate with every single one of the things you're yet to learn (except the curtseying, thats never happened) so its reassuring that I'm not alone. I looove this post libby!!!x

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    1. Thanks Katie- also I have decided I will never pay for coffee when out with my mum unless she explicitly asks me to, we get minimum wage, one coffee is basically one hours of work and I am not here for that!!x

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  7. This speaks to me SOO much Libby!! Now you've mentioned washing your feet in the shower, I realise that I have never done that and when you think about it, it is a bit disgusting that I don't! Yes to Dance, dance, dance (you should see me on a night out)!! Honestly, I agree so much with you about everyones lives falling apart, life is honestly too short and too shit sometimes, just live it! What you said about cutting friends out is something I'm learning now, when you're friends with people for so long you sort of just settle with the friendship, now everyones become so much more independent it's become clearer who I want in my life and who I don't. My values in friendship have changed a lot this year and I think it's a good thing! (feel like I may have to take inspiration from this post because I LOVE the concept!!!)xxx

    Lucy Jane | Infinity of Fashion

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    1. Lucy I have found out, through a lot of questioning, most people don't put soap on their feet in the shower so don't feel to disgusted! Go ahead and take inspiration from this post btw, also about the friend thing- I can't imagine how tough this year must have been for you but I think it's so good what you value in friendship has changed and I think understanding what you value also helps you appreciate the friends you have more!x

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  8. This post is hilariously relatable and I still haven't figured out a lot of these things in my early twenties. But life is just one big lesson right? So forever we will be not knowing shit and then only know once we go through all the stress of having to figure it out. Haha!

    Loving the honesty!
    http://ribbitsaidthefrogcalledtoad.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Louise, I guess your right- life is all one big lesson!!x

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  9. Love this post - just found your blog n' I looove it! Also yes, I can relate to so many of these things! And the quote that we should understand less and accept more is weird, but it makes sense?? but still, sometimes having an understanding of things is really important, but so is accepting things too?

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    1. Thanks Zoe!! I know, the quote at first I thought was the answer to cure my life but I've realised that understanding is also very important but I think some of the things I feel the need to understand shouldn't be understood. It's all very complicated and I just need to learn the balance!x

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  10. Loved this post Libby - heartbreak is a hard thing to go through, especially when you're still young. But you live, learn and move on which is what life's all about! I also need to work on learning how to say no to things and standing up for myself more, so that makes two of us haha!

    Lucy | Forever September

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    1. That's very true, to be honest I'm just being a bit of a wet wipe over it, break ups are (usually) inevitable! Ah god, I always think to myself I need to say no more but I never do or if its work I need to say no to I get my mum to craft me a well worded text and I'm not sure if that counts as me saying no aha x

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  11. Loveee this, so relatable as always;) Moroccan Hummus is the one oh my lordd. Also I don't wash my feet with soap in the shower, I just assume they get clean from all the soap running down past them lol. Think I will start to now though. The shift between teenage-hood and adult-hood is a weird one, I'm still so unsure of what my mums supposed to buy, and what I'm supposed to buy. I guess we'll all figure it out one day. Sending you lovee xo
    www.lexiealexandra.com

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    1. Loads of people share your shower thoughts as well- I think I may be the weird one for using soap?? Idk. I know, I am hating this shift, but I've decided I'm never going to even hint that I'm willing to pay when I'm with my mum, I'll just pay if she tells me to (seems rude, but minimum wage is not sufficient!)x

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  12. ABBA is art though?? and this is beautiful, i'm living for this post honestly. also the whole concept of adulthood is wild, but we'll get through it with all the weird stuff somehow

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    1. ABBA is the most uplifting thing to have ever graced the world, I think the people who don't like ABBA are lying and just want to seem quirky and different when in reality they just seem lame. That's true, everyone gets through adulthood, we definitely can :)x

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  13. Omg I love hummus, but I am yet to try all the different types..
    Not a fan of peanut butter though to be honest haha
    Aleeha xXx
    https://www.halesaaw.co.uk/

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    1. Ah god Aleeha, do your taste buds a favour and try some Moroccan hummus!!x

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