Bring On The Baggy

22 October 2017

I keep wearing baggy trousers lately and I can't tell if I'm loving it or hating it. I like to wear belts to force a waist and none of my baggy trousers have belt loops. I also like to wear baggy t-shirts to hide my belly but baggy and baggy isn't always a look. I can't remember how I used to do outfit posts anymore haha. These trousers are so old but hardly ever worn- I was trying to sell them on Depop but now they've creeped back into my regular wardrobe because they're just so comfy. Also lately I've become such a fan of these cute lacey bralettes- they just make outfits look so much better! I need to buy more as I only really have one that I like and it's too small so the majority of the time I'm wearing it, one of my boobs is just hanging loose.


trouser- UO (old)  |  socks- Primark (such fun socks I don't know why anyone ever wears plain ones!)  | top-ASOS
unethical outfit I know but the trousers I got like back in year 10 and the top is a staple so I don't feel that guilty.  Also I trust ASOS. These photos are such bad quality I need a good camera but I spent all my money allowance for this month 
I feel like this weekend I've been productive than I've been for a while but at the same time I didn't do much. I went shopping both days, but bought a shit ton of stationary to help me feel organised- although I couldn't find the type of thing I was looking for so I tried to revamp a notebook I bought which I kind of regret but oh well. I also got my legs waxed and washed my hair and just done some things to make me less of a gross human being- not that having hairy legs makes you gross, it just made me feel unclean. I then bought makeup and clothes and now just feel exhausted. Although I feel happy as well because I've managed to cross one thing off my 'get done before 2018' list which is clear out my drawers.

I cleared out the vast majority of my A-level stuff and oh boy was it a ride. It's weird because that's like two years of the hardest work I've ever had to do just gone. I kept some stuff as a'just in case' but I don't know what the 'just in case' is for. It was weird though just getting rid of it and because I feel like my final grades aren't a true reflection of me and the amount of work I put in it just made it so much harder. But oh well- it is in the recycling now ready to become so more paper- or whatever happens to recycled paper!

I also feel optimistic that I'm going to begin one of my gap year goals of becoming an embroidery master as I keep watching tutorials for all these different types of stitching. Eventually I'll become so jealous of the tutorials that I'll finally begin. I also think I'm going to look for a Spanish Course after posting this. I lied to someone the other day saying I had begun a Spanish thing and now I have to live up to the lie to redeem myself. I'm not really sure why I lied about it. But I did. Also I bought letter writing stuff lately (Katie inspired me) so if you want to become my friend and write letters to me I'm down. If you want to become my Spanish friend and write Spanish letters to me I'm equally as down.



To Fill In A Gap Year: The Aim

15 October 2017

I was in a rut, I'm still in a rut. My life doesn't consist of much as the moment- not in a pity party way, I just haven't been getting much done. I really wanted to get more blogging done, yet here I am two weeks into October. I think it's because I've lost a lot of creativity lately and spend most of my time in my pyjamas lazing about- but I'm trying to get out of this routine. I've decided to make a mini series for my gap year where every month I'll talk about some progress I've made into some of the things I wanted to begin/continue in my gap year. Some months may be dead months- but I think this will help me stay focused and not give in to my mental blanket. 



This post will consist of the things I want to get done. I can't talk about anything I've got done- because frankly, it's not much. Some of the things on this list will seem very easy and they're purely going on this list due to how long they've been on my 'get shit done' list. 

Here we go pals:

-Run a 10km, 10 mile and a half marathon
-Read all the books I've been meaning to
-Get strong; I'm talking biceps
-Learn some Spanish
-Learn how to write better (blogging and novelling)
-Join a writing/book club
-Get back into drawing
-Get back into painting
-Get back into sewing
-Get into embroidery (this has actually already begun and so far not going well)
-Travel (not majorly- I wanted to do ICS but think I'd like a friend to do that with but I am hoping for Camp America)
- Earn money
-Go to events
-Get hooks for my room. Also clean out my drawers. Also maybe just sort out my room in general
-Get UCAS done
-Bullet journal

All these things are accessible, it just depends on how I'm feeling and lately not very motivated is the answer.  Maybe I should document my gap year better. This will be easy to do when I have a tidy room and clean drawers- I still have some stuff from GCSE's. I'm a major hoarder but this must end!

Anyway- sorry lads for the lack of great content, but hopefully this post is the beginning of something great! And by that I mean after I've posted this I'm going to clean out my drawers. Please leave in the comments good places to by diaries/planners etc. I need something to give me the illusion of progression!

Losing Friends Is Inevitable

1 October 2017

I was scrap booking earlier- I wasn't meant to be I actually have quite a bit of work to get done- but in the process of sorting out my photos I've realised that I've lost a lot of friends. It's weird though, because I couldn't care less. Obviously I hope they're still doing well but I think that once you get older and you don't have school to force a friendship anymore, it's so much easier to cut ties with people whose friendship didn't make you happy and that it is a perfectly okay thing to do.

this is just a random photo of me and my main bitches in Berlin because I don't have any other photos to use 
After my GCSE's I switched schools, the majority of my friends stayed at my old school and only two of them I'm still in touch with today, and the conversation is sparse. I don't really regret losing any of those friends though which is weird because I used to be so dependent on those friends. Then when starting college I made friends and now my friends are at university it's helped me figure out who my true friends are. Not in a bitchy way- there are people I'm lowkey friends with, but I definitely have lost friends but got more solid ones, that's for another post though because this is going to be a moaning post.

The thing about some people is they make it so obvious their priorities don't lie with you- and during college I would be so desperate to keep these friendships because I would always be with the same people, but now there is no pressure to be friends with people who make it obvious I'm not their number one priority. Don't get me wrong- I know the whole world doesn't revolve around me, but what I mean is the type of friends who say 'maybe' to plans because they're waiting to see if anything better will come up. People could at least lie- honesty is the best policy but it's just rude to hit someone with a maybe unless there is a genuine reason. Another thing that's on a similar wavelength
is when people I'm friends with have complained to me that they have no friends which raised the question: what the hell am I? But some people- they have friends but they just aren't friends with who they want to be friends with, which is rude to the friends they have. It's cool to be upset about losing friends, but it just bugs me when people say they have no friends when that's not the case. And there is always a reason for friendships ending- when people make out that the end came as a shock it makes me shocked because a friendship wouldn't end over nothing!

another random photo of me and my friends living it up in the pub (big up my pal in the back with her fishbowl cocktail)

Another thing that I noticed is how true some teen movies are- so and so gets a boyfriend and it's goodbye friends! They come back when they have a fight and are upset with their boyfriend, but aren't there for anything else. I'm happy if my friends have boyfriends, but not when I'm blown off all the time- or even worse when people say their boyfriend is busy that night so 'yeah I can see you'. I think it's important though to call people out for this, because some people don't realise they're ditching their friends and being called out they'll realise their mistakes. It's only if after they get called out and they still continue to ditch you it's time to reevaluate the friendship. It's just, as I've gotten older I've realised school was the only thing gluing me and some friends together as we were incapable of maintaining it outside of school. Maybe due to a boyfriend or maybe just the general lack of effort. My advice to you guys is don't try to cling onto a friendship where no effort is put in on the other end because it's boring and annoying and also so frustrating to constantly be made to feel inferior to other friends.

I won't lie- I'm one of those people that wants to be liked by everyone, however I'm getting over that now as I discover people I don't like. I would never go out my way to be spiteful and if there's anyone I don't like I won't act on the dislike because it's so easy to be nice I don't see why people go out their way to be nasty. I feel like this post makes me look like a bitch. But reflecting over my school life I've realised how acceptable it is to just say no to a friendship if it isn't a good one. Obviously don't like boycott them and stuff, but letting a friendship die is sometimes necessary. 

Side note: all these people in these photos are still my friends (imagine how awkward if they weren't) and I love them very much!

You Have Got To Read Jasper Jones

24 September 2017

Everyone- stop what you're reading (or tell me what you're reading because I need more books to read) and read Jasper Jones. It is the best book I've read in a long time. I feel like every summer I find a book that I'm just so in awe of. Last year it was 'The Girls', this year it's 'Jasper Jones'. A very easy, enjoyable read and is so far from your typical coming of age book. I don't even know if this is a coming of age book. It's just a brilliant book to be honest!

please excuse my gremlin hands

I am going to go into more detail. I find a lot of the time I read a book from a younger perspective, in this case Charlie who is thirteen years old I believe, the author just doesn't get the narrative right? I don't know how to explain. Like their style is either extremely young and trying too hard to seem relevant and hip (although Silvey did set it in 1965 so I guess that helps) or they just seem way too sophisticated to be young! But I think it's just so well written, I loved the way Charlie spoke with his best pal Jeffrey and found it funny and just the change with when he was with Jasper trying to seem older but still falling into his childhood mind. The book was funny, it was also dark and I liked the characters, which is very important. They're just all written so well and I love the way Jasper talks. I don't know what it was about this book, but I just really enjoyed it. Also I didn't guess the ending, which to be fair I rarely do. Looking back at it, I think why I enjoyed it so much is because so many different topics were touched upon like racism friendship etc yet it all just fit together so well.

I realise I haven't included a description, which would help prove to you you guys should read it. Also it has become a film but I haven't watched the film yet mainly because I am too obsessed with the book. Well, obsessed may be bit far, but I just really really love it.

(I'm no author I just copy and pasted some of it from Goodreads)


Rebellious, mixed-race and solitary, Jasper is a distant figure of danger and intrigue for Charlie. So when Jasper begs for his help, Charlie eagerly steals into the night by his side, terribly afraid but desperate to impress. Jasper takes him to his secret glade in the bush, and it's here that Charlie bears witness to Jasper's horrible discovery.

With his secret like a brick in his belly, Charlie is pushed and pulled by a town closing in on itself in fear and suspicion as he locks horns with his tempestuous mother; falls nervously in love and battles to keep a lid on his zealous best friend, Jeffrey Lu.


So yeah- if you need an entertaining book I 10/10 recommend this book, and I rarely give a 10/10 rating. 




Enjoy Your Education

17 September 2017

I'm combining an outfit post with a talky post because I can't remember how I usually do outfit posts. I feel like I'm in a very big slump this week- however I blame that on the fact I've been working 6am-3pm and you know what- I always thought I was a mediocre morning person but I am actually horrendous. I just talk so much shit when I'm tired. I get so tired that I feel drunk. I'm not good on little sleep or in the early hours of the morning.
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It's weird seeing these photos as I've had purple hair for a week and seeing me blonde is like 'woah'
This entire outfit is from ASOS because I get a good discount. Also look! My tattoo- I'm so cool Also heads up this is the softest jumper ever 10/10 recommend buying it. This little box I feel is like when you watch a directors cut of the film except me and my blog 
This week has been strange because a lot of my friends are preparing to go to university and sending snapchats of themselves packing and at the last gathering till Christmas whilst I'm going off to work. Honestly-I am such an adult. I have a tattoo, I drive, I work full time, I go to the gym, I cook vegetables. I'm an adult. But in all seriousness it's so strange seeing all my friends going off to university, and my friends in the year below preparing for university and stressing about which university to go to. No one seems old enough to be going but plot twist- we are! Part of me wants my friends to all go now so I can begin some stuff I wanted to get done in my gap year because all my spare time has been consumed by them but then I realise my time is spent always with them at the moment because they won't be in close vicinity for much longer and I really love my friends. I know quite a few people staying though- but none of my closest friends. I'm just planning on visiting all the time. 

I just find it strange though how I'm in a full time job and they're off drinking every night. I know a few people who are regretting taking a gap year- and despite feeling strange about the fact my friends are going to university, I don't regret taking a year out. Well, as long as I use it to experience things, which I plan to do. 

Time for some words of wisdom from yours truly lads: enjoy your education! Not that I regret taking a gap year at all because I have a lot planned. Well- a lot mentally planned. I haven't actually sorted anything out yet but enjoy your education because learning is great. Then when you meet new people you can tell them fun facts about things you learnt. 

Classic Books That Are Worth The Hype

7 September 2017

I'm going to say it- no matter how often I try to begin reading 'The Scarlett Letter' I just can't get into it. At the moment though I've completely fallen out of love with reading because my life has become consumed by TV shows, mainly Bates Motel, but I need to get back into reading. I think it's because I'm reading a book at the moment that is good, but not gripping. The book is 'Lolita' a book with lots of hype and to be fair, I see where the hype is coming from sort of, but today I am going to narrow down some of my favourite classic books.

I haven't read that many classics by the way, so technically I am not overly qualified to write this. I've never branched far into Dickens or anything, however I figured I'd share some of my favourite classic novels of our world.

1. 'Wuthering Heights'- Emily Brontë 
This is probably one of my all time favourite novels. I don't even know why but I can just always reread it and never seem to stop loving it, although to be fair there is a particular point where I often stop reading but because I have read it so many time it is justifiable. I'm not even sure why I love it smooch because a lot of the characters in it aggregate me and usually that puts me off books, but something about this novel I adore. I like 'Pride and Prejudice' and 'Jane Eyre' which I feel fall into similar category, but this is my number one.  There is one quote as well in this book which stuck in my head, which rarely happens to me. So due to the memorable quote and overall very enjoyable read for as long as I can remember, this is only my favourite classics. Well worth the title of a classic. 

2. 'The Catcher In The Rye'- J.D Salinger
I didn't enjoy this book the first time I read it, but now whenever winter is approaching I find myself reaching for this book. I just find it timeless and okay, Holden Caulfield is a bit of an arsehole but I'm still here for this character. Because I'm a nerd, I often google and read literature essays about books I enjoyed. In an essay about 'The Catcher In The Rye' I read that many people didn't enjoy it at first as due to the style of writing- as the plot doesn't really have climax it just follows Holden Caulfield. A lot of the time I hate that in books but I never get tired of following Holden around.

Also this book was banned from being in taught in America. I feel like a book that has reached banning status definitely deserves the 'Classic' title

3. 'To Kill a Mockingbird'- Harper Lee
I've actually only read this book once, which is rare for favourites of mine. But hot damn, this novel is worth the hype. I remember reading it after GCSE's and I couldn't put it down. It's one of the most famous books ever though, so I'm not really giving you any groundbreaking new novels to read. It's weird because ever since reading it I've found so many references to it in other novels. It is honestly just such a brilliant novel and the author flicks between one of the characters older and younger perspective which I always love in books because sometimes I feel like a naive child narrator is just a little too much.

4. 'Lord of The Flies'- William Golding 
I think this, along with Pride and Prejudice, was one of the first ever classic books I read and I loved. I just feel like this is one of those classic books that just everyone has to read and there's no reason not to as it's a good plot and the writing isn't overly old fashioned. Like Withering Heights, the language can become a lil bit old. And 'Catcher in The Rye' may not be everyones cup of tea due to the lack of plot (in my opinion- I feel like it's more of a follow along then a guess what will happen next) but Lord of the Flies is a proper novel that you should read. 


There are other classic books I really enjoyed, but I don't remember them well enough to include in this post yet. There are so many other classic books I have to read though, I think I'm going to dive into more Oscar Wilde (whose wit I dream of having!) and Virginia Woolf this year, once I've finished 'Lolita'. I'm just in a rut of reading at the moment, so thing I need to go for something lighthearted to get myself back into it. 

Staple Items

30 August 2017

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I'm not going to lie, this outfit isn't overly special as I wear it pretty much all the time. Well, I wear this top all the time, and these shoes all the time. My 'wardrobe staples' if you will. But in all seriousness, listen to how good my friends are, I have wanted green Doc Martens since I was in year 10, but could never find any and when I did I couldn't afford the size. I completely forgot/was oblivious to how often I must have spoken about wanting green docs, but my friends did not forget and on my 18th birthday surprised me with them! It was so kind and thoughtful how they remembered. I remember as well now how often we spoke about shoe sizes and at the time thought nothing of it. I literally wear these shoes all the time now as well, I keep them in the boot of my car (because I'm not overly good at driving in anything other than trainers) so that I can put them on as soon as I get out! So yeah, there is a fun story for you about my love for my green babies.

This is just such a simple outfit to be honest, but (in my opinion) always works so well. Plus the t-shirt is super soft and goes with pretty much anything. Except black skinny jeans, but that's just my figure speaking I'm sure it would go well on other people. I always wear this little bralette underneath it and just love the effect, bra straps are boring give me a flash of lace am I right! I need to invest in more barrettes, comfy and pretty! Win win! But yeah, this outfit is so standard but I feel like its okay because it looks nice. To be honest it has to be okay, my wardrobes are so full but purely because I am too lazy to sort them out. I have a list in my notebook of all the things to get done over summer. So far nothing has been ticked off, and I have begun working full time now so technically summer is over for me so I guess this list has just become a 'complete before 2018' list!

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Also guys, can you believe I am back with an outfit post?! I don't have a camera at the moment and using my phone is difficult so I made my boyfriend be my photographer of the day, and he actually done a pretty good job. Also I've pretty much been living in pyjamas since May apart from if I'm out at night so its been hard to find a time to a actually take photos of outfits that aren't my trackies!

Tips for A-level

24 August 2017

I'm qualified to write this post because I worked so hard during A-levels, and unfortunately my grades do not reflect the hardworking I put in the entire year but I still want you to trust my tips because so many people got fucked over by a-levels this year. So all you young birds, get ready for the best advice of your life!!


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This photo doesn't even go with the post I'm just a working gal at the moment and working all this week and needed a pic
1. Keep your folders up to date. In year 12, my folders had no structure and the majority of year 13. When I sorted out my folders, it were as if the stars aligned. Keep your folders in a good system, it may be annoying to sort out but trust me, when you begin revising you will thank yourself.

2. Choose what you enjoy. I was going to do biology in second year, purely for the scientific title. I followed my heart and kept English literature and I am so glad I did. It was my best subject all year (well combined with classics) because I enjoyed them both so much. Don't do anything for the sake of university, I get university is important and all that but if you have to do a subject you hate to get into university, is it worth it? I don't think so! 

3. Get over the fear of missing out. I will admit, I get massive fomo (haha my laptop corrected it to foam) (fear-of-missing-out) but over my years at college it got to the point where I realised I needed to get over myself and recognise my limitations. I'm very much a go home everyday after college and do work kind of person whereas my friends met up a lot after college. And on weekends I had to structure my days out, so I could be hungover at work rather than at home because if I was at work I wouldn't be revising anyway so I didn't see the point wasting a revision day. Obviously, still go out and have hangover days but just know your limitations and recognise after exams you can party as much as you want. But during exams- structure the partying!


4. Keep your room tidy. Revising in a tidy room is the best. You can spread out your folders, you don't have to huddle up. Also getting into a made bed after revising/doing homework is always nice. Maybe it is just me but I could not revise in a messy room, although in saying that during the heat of exams my room was a tip but a tidy room is just always beneficial. 

4. Find a revision buddy. This only counts if the buddy will constantly be a source of motivation to revise and if you still revise independently as well, because independence is also good. But I found having my revision buddy so helpful, especially in essay based subjects. We shared ideas and essay plans and even wrote essays in timed conditions whereas at home I would ignore the blaring timer despite time keeping being so important in exams! Find an equal in a subject and bang it out!


5. Ask your teachers for help. I used to never email teachers for help because I didn't want to harass them however, teachers do wand the best for you. Obviously know your teachers limits,  not all would want to mark essays you've written however they do want what is best for you. So drop them an email asking to show them something/asking for help because it is unlikely they'll say no and they are the smartest people around!

6. Start early and keep notes up to date. Pretty self explanatory. But just for the love of god don't leave Alevel revision to last minute!! You'll be stressed forever. I highly recommend flash cards by the way 

Also, most importantly, remember that exams aren't always fair. Also that grades aren't everything but oh buddy this year did I find out exams weren't always fair. I done well in my exams but the thing is the grades weren't good grades for me. All year I worked so hard, I constantly had the 'you want to go to Bristol, you will go to Bristol' mentality so in year 13 I really got stuck into my work. I didn't go out, I would wake up early and I just worked as hard as I could. Through out my entire year at college this worked for me, I was an A grade student in all my subjects (except biology but I dropped that) and in second year I was often hitting the A* mark or just under. So I worked and worked, never taking my foot off the pedal. I gave up reading and blogging, used my bus journeys to revise rather than relax and listen to music, and in the end it didn't pay off. My final results, although good, don't reflect the hard work I put in. I have no idea how I got the grades I did, nor can my teachers, as I was always so on ball with A's and sometimes even above, but my final results don't reflect that. Of course I was devastated but now I just think who cares. 

People say you'll only be sad on results day if you didn't try your hardest, but you know what, exams can be wack. The same thing happened to some of my friends. This isn't to say don't try your hardest, but it is just to say exams aren't always fair. They aren't a true reperesentation always, and I'm still so angry at my grades. Not at myself though, but the exam boards because I know me and some of my friends deserved better. Many people deserved what they got, but not everyone. So just bear in mind at your next results day that, at the end of the day exams aren't everything and sometimes people do get fucked over, so don't judge anyone for their results! But still work hard, because although I am disappointed, I find great relief in knowing I could not have worked harder. 

Naples Naples Naples

14 August 2017

In my head the title to this post is to a tune; imagine the tune you wish as I can not sing it for you.  
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Recently I went to Naples with my boyfriend and let me tell you guys, Naples is so underrated. We decided to go to Naples purely because it had the cheapest flights and we booked it relatively late and also me, being the idiot I am, thought Naples was in Greece and I love Greece. I say I 'love' Greece, I went once to Athens and had an amazing time so I just generalise that experience to the whole of Greece. However, Naples is in Italy, as you probably know to be fair, and so many websites had warnings about Naples. Saying it was dangerous and dirty and that travel agents did not recommend going, but amidst these critical reports of Naples there were some good ones. I didn't believe the good reports and was so sure we were going to be murdered by the mafia. But since I am alive to tell the tale of the beautiful Naples, it clearly didn't happen.

We stayed in the historical centre which was a great location. There were many restaurants and ice cream and souvenir places near us, but to be honest on the first day we ended up going to this place called Shanti (I have no idea what category it falls into) which just became our favourite place. Well it became my favourite place. I have no photos of it really but it had a really nice ambience, like just so warm and welcoming. And they gave us crisps when we got drinks the first time, and I'm a sucker for snacks. They had food, drinks and music. It was just so lovely. 

Naples itself, I didn't see as much dirt as everyone was making out. Maybe because I'm used to dirty areas in London (although in saying that I do think London is relatively clean)(well some of the places)(despite there being pretty much no bins anywhere in London am I right) but yeah, Naples didn't seem that dirty. There was an average amount of litter. It was such an interesting city to look at, like you would look up and there would be laundry dancing on the clothes line in the rare blows of wind and old women smoking passing gossip along balcony to balcony. Oh, another thing is that there were so many beautiful buildings just scattered about that people just seemed to ignore, like giant clock towers or chapels. We couldn't figure out what they were but there was just some beautiful, old architecture that was just ignored. Well maybe not ignored, but they deserved to be made a bigger deal out of. I feel like in Naples the most important thing to do is look up as up high is where your eyes really get to see the goods. 

It was absolutely boiling whilst we were there, we really wanted a beach day and so many people said to go to the Amalfi coast which and have a tour of the villages and the pictures we saw look incredible but unfortunately we were not rich enough to go. I also really wanted to to go Cumae because one of the texts I read in classics featured that destination and I just find it so amazing seeing things from what I've learnt in Classics because its so 'woah'. We went to the Archaeological Museum there which is humungous and full of statues, as well as being as sucker for snacks I'm also a sucker for statues, so that was pretty amazing.

We also went to Pompeii, we didn't have much time there but Pompeii was so cool. As you walk in to the ruins area they have preserved bodies they found of people who were there, and it was so cool yet spooky because their bodies were like mid running, and one of them was curled up with their head in their hands. For an additional price we could have gone on an actual tour of the volcano but alas, we did not leave ourselves enough time when booking the coaches so that wouldn't have worked. 

A lot of rambling here. I'm going to sum it up in bullet points. There is probably a lot more to do, I just went to eat some left after BBQ food though and lost my writing flow. 

Pompeii and the volcano.
Tour of the Amalfi Coast
Herecleum 
Archaelogical Museum
Underground city (Roman remains- very cool and also very many)
Chapels (I have no specific ones but damn they are beautiful) 

Also okay so the pizza there looked incredible however I am a coeliac so it was pretty hard for me to find places that catered to this so I often had to stick with salads. On the last night though I got my long awaited pizza and personally, I was disappointed. My pizza came with no tomato sauce just oily vegetables! But I only have myself to blame I think because everyone else pizzas looked incredible. Plus my boyfriends pizzas and pastas always looked good. By good I mean amazing. If you're a Diet Coke lover and Coke Zero hater then I don't recommend Naples because Diet Coke doesn't seem to exist. Only Coke Zero. Also ice cream is a must, I was low-key disappointed but I just didn't go to the best ice cream shop. My plan was to have gelato everyday, I had it once!

Tip for Naples for all of you if you ever go: get ice cream every day. Actually, thats my tip for any country you're in. Ice cream everyday!
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To Fill In A Gap Year

23 July 2017

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I find it strange trying to look for a job to fill my gap year, because there are quite a few opportunities. However, many of which I am not qualified for, or have a sense of 'but what if I actually get that job'. Like there is an internship at Lazy Oafs, which I would never get because I don't meet the requirements, but you know when its like but what if I did actually get that internship, I'd be screwed. A lot of websites that I have read, regarding how to fill a year out, encourage spending your gap year doing something that will boost your future. However, since I have no idea what my future entails, or what I even hope for my future to include, this is pointless advice. I am also very aware that I had high hopes for my gap year such as getting back into textiles and creating things again, and writing more and all that stuff but I don't know. Just all these things, but am I actually going to do them? Who knows.

It's also weird looking for jobs because I have no clue what route to take. Do I go for retail, an office, where do I go! I am thinking retail though, everyone says I will hate it, but I hate when people just tell me those sort of things. although they are probably right it doesn't make it any less irritating and at the end of the day money is money and that is what I want. I think I feel very estranged from my gap year at the moment though. All my friends are enjoying summer before university, I feel like I am part of that jolly despite in my head my jolly lasting longer as I regard a gap year as more fun than uni. Although university is fun, so I've been told, taking a year out to actually figure university courses out and get money and be free from exams also seems fun. Also slightly boring though, but I am sure boredom will just make me appreciate university more. I also feel very distant from my working girl self, as I have lost my CV and have not yet written a new one. It is on the agenda for tomorrow, but looking at jobs never provides much panic (yet) as I am CV-less, therefore I can't criticise myself for not applying, as it would be impossible.

I get uncomfortable to post these ramblings ever since people I know became aware of my blog. Annoying. It's not even like I can tell people not to read it as who could resist that. I don't know. It is all very strange. Or maybe I am just very tired. Or maybe I just keep my blog drafts as some form of diary. Maybe I will start keeping a diary.

This post was meant to be about my travels with my friends. I went to Amsterdam, Budapest, Berlin and Barcelona. However, I feel I can not write an entire post on my travels. Looking back on my trip I get frustrated at all the wasted time and all the things I didn't see. Plus some days were filled with feeling unwell due to migraines and coeliac attacks. It was a fun trip though, but boy oh boy was I grateful to come home in the end.

I Am A Free Woman

29 June 2017

I'm back! I took a break during exams (and the lead up to exams) because my life was just so busy! Well, I wasn't even doing much but just never had much time to write posts, nor did I have anything really to write about. My life plateaued during exams, nothing exciting was happening really just revising and stuff, nothing worth blogging about! But now I am a free woman! Although it feels strange, to never have to touch my notes or any of my old things ever again. Especially since I'm taking a gap year, I don't know, just feels so strange! Although I feel like I'm going to have to redo my psychology exam because I found them all so difficult and in my last paper I accidentally missed out six marks because I just kept flicking past the page! My heart actually sank when I realised, I even swore under my breath then got worried I was going to get kicked out for talking because as soon as I realised we had to put our pens down! It was the worst. But, oh well, it is all over now, and if I need to retake, I can.

alchs
for real party lulu
for real mike
I can't remember how to properly do this so the Flickr thing doesn't come up whoops 

In my absence, despite my life being extremely non exciting, a few things did happen.

1) My dog died, it came as a complete surprise but one morning she just woke up extremely ill then she went to the vet and long story short turns out she had cancer and her lil body just couldn't fight it anymore! It has been so strange not having a pup in the house, I had her since the summer of year one and now I'm in the summer of year 13! So bizarre. But we are getting a new puppy (the same breed but different colour) during summer. I doubt any of you know my dog, since I never really posted about her, which is strange because my dog was like, my main bitch (haha so witty). But she was my best pal, but she just got too poorly!

2) My sister came home with her little bubba and boyfriend. I find it strange being called auntie because I just feel auntie is way too old for me but at the same time I like the title. Auntie Libby. Auntie Libs. He is the cutest baby ever, of course I am bias, but he is the sweetest. And just so tiny!!

3) I finished exams! Like I said earlier. I wrote this post earlier but had to retype it because I was going on and on and on and on and I want my blog to get better and I think one way to begin is by writing not everything that pops to my head. And writing in general I guess.

It feels so strange to write in a non formal way again, like for ages it has either been essays or notes and now I'm free to write with as many exclamation marks as I want. What a life! Oh wait another thing that happened, I turned 18. Um what else. Not much. Well just little random things a gig I went to, my drink of the night has turned from Malibu and coke to gin and tonic. I know, I know. I am the epitome of sophistication. I'm going out in a bit, but it's annoying every night since a levels have finished I haven't been able to go ham on the drinking because I have work or a driving lesson the next day and tomorrow I have a gym class in the morning. My quest to a summer body in a week begins tomorrow. I'm sure one week will be enough to bring success. Oh I also signed up for the London marathon, I'm not entirely sure why because I haven't ran properly in ages and have never even do a half marathon let alone a 10k race so god knows how I'll survive

Primary Colours

28 February 2017

I have been in a fashion funk for a while now aka all I wear is ugly outfits and look boring, and I want cool outfits and all but I'm always too lay to try and find any. I wore a nice outfit the other day though (well I thought it was nice and it is the one pictured) but oh gee it made me realise how much I need more clothes. Although, I am trying to save my money up, I've started selling things on Depop but I am awful at haggling and nobody ever wants my clothes they always want my sisters clothes therefore, I am not getting much money from it. Also, I think some of the clothes up there are bangin', I feel like I should be one of Depops top stars (check me out on Depop and make me Depop famous, if that's a thing, and bu all my clothes and make me rich please!! libbyjade26 is where I'm at!)

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Jumper- Ragged Priest (supersuper old)  |  Polo neck-Urban Outfitters  |  Jeans-Rokit
Also can we all apprecate how good my skin looks here. It doesn't look like that at the moment but still, it's always nice to reminisce over good skin days. 
Also, I have had a realisation lately. Well, I'm not sure if it is a realisation, probably more of a thought. I think, if all goes according to plan I am going to take a gap year, and I have realised I have more reasons to take a gap year than to go to university straight away.

  • I can get a cool job in retail. I'd really like to somehow get to work for Urban Outfitters or the Doc Martnes store or Lazy Oaf just somewhere in London, I love clothes and fashion and it just seems like such a nice idea
  • I can do an apprentceship with a fashion company which would also be cool (and both these ways I can build up a better CV)
  • I'll have more time on my hands so can do more charity work or something
  • I'll also be able to earn and save up money so I can hopefully do camp America in the summer
  • I will have a year off from exams after having exams for the majority of my life!!
  • My sister and nephew will be home aka the Harris sisters will be reunited
There are so many other reasons but now the idea of a gap year is motivating me so much because in my head the only way I can get a gap year is if I do well in exams and it will be so nice to have a year off. Don't get me wrong I still definitely want to go to university, but a year off just seems so wonderful. Obviously I'll still be dong stuff like working and can have a year to really go to town with my blog and get back into creative writing and all that jazz. Gosh, I am so excited. Lets hope exams go according to plan.

But also side note, I've always really wanted to work for a retail company, I know people always say they're annoying but where I work now I have to handle challenging customers and ah I don't know just working in Oxford Street or Carnaby Street in a cool shop and where I can work with fashion just seems so nice. Even though I won't directly be working with fashion, it's something you know. In my head it all seems so wonderful and things don't always work the way planned out I know, but god damn I can try!

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Oh also side note outfit pictures are impossible for me to take I have to use my phone which is all fine and well till I realise I can't get whole outfit in very well! But ah I love these jeans, I got from Rokit and just need more! Well to be fair, I need real mom jeans these are just baggy jeans but I just love them. I need exams to be over so I can go to Rokit and buy every single jean I see.  Anyway, hope you're all having a good week!


Who Do I Have To Speak To In Order To Get Some Bigger Models

23 February 2017

This is just a spontaneous post because I can't be bothered to take out my camera and take actual photos but this has been bothering me lately.

I shop at Asos a lot, I know clothes sizes vary depending where you are shopping but my god, sometimes I order things from there in my size and have to get twosizes up or whatever, even though the ridiculously tiny model claims to be wearing my size.

Maybe ridiculously tiny is too harsh a term to use. I just think, self love for all sizes is promoted everywhere, and companies say they are using bigger models but I don't think they are trying hard enough. On Monkis Instagram, they show people of all sizes and shapes wearing their garments and I love that. Give me someone without a tiny waist! Give me someone with chubby thighs or a chubby stomach I want to see all the shapes, let alone just broadening the size spectrum people use (although it is debatable whether these models who claim to be larger sizes are actually what they say to be).

It's not even about self love as much as just not being annoying. As a society we're moving past the unhealthily skinny sized models but it's not the size as much as the shape. I am not sure my aim in this post. I was trying to google about who I had to speak to for companies to get some more representation in their modelling because honestly, there is no reason for this. I don't have a particularity small waist and I still look nice in mom jeans (bad example but I'm typing this in a fit of rage), they pick the ideal figure to model clothes but all figures look good in most clothes! However I found absolutely nothing so I'm hoping someone can help me get somewhere from posting this because it is 2017 and I am sick of all the models with amazing bodies.Yes, they work hard for it but Jesus Christ I want 'goals' to be people with thick thighs and tummys and flabby arms and normal womanly (and men, this is a very female bias post but that is because I have not thought this post through, this is just pure unadulterated me baby) features! We need child bearing hips so let me some child bearing hips! And don't make plus sized models have the perfect curves. And also some short models! I hardly know any girls that are 6ft but bloomin heck do I know a lot of short ones! Give me models with impurities that aren't just to do with skin and hair, give me diversity in the figures and races!!
this is a really old photo I'm just using it as clickbait so people read this and help me figure out how to get some models with a lil more chubs

That is all. I hope you all have a good week


Some Books From 2016

13 January 2017

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Over summer I read this really good book and I wanted to talk about it on my blog, and I can't remember if I ever did. But then I figured I'd talk about three books I read last year instead, because three books seems like just the right amount. Although just because I'm talking about them doesn't mean they're the best I read from last year, I'm not really sure how I chose these books to feature in this post. Lately I haven't been reading much because I am obsessed with the TV show 'Shameless' but I've almost completely caught up, and once I have my main mode of entertainment will be reading again, probably. At the moment I'm reading 'The Bell Jar' but I always seem to read it when I'm exhausted after college and feeling confused the next time I pick it up because my brain didn't properly read the last chapter.

THE GIRLS - EMMA CLINE

I was completely gripped by this book. The narrator is Evie Boyd, a fourteen year old girl on the cusp of adulthood. Cline navigates through classic teenage issues like rebellion, curiosity and insecurity but its just such a unique book. The story line was really good, I never know how much to give away but it was more than just the story line because Cline just wrote it so well in my opinion. You know how in some books the descriptions seem endless, in this book they're so minimal but make so much sense. Also her descriptions, not necessarily made me uncomfortable but were just so realistic, I don't know how to explain. It is just an amazing book about a girl who is coming of age and ends up involved in a twisted commune and flutters between the present and the past to keep you engaged and gah. Just so well written and such an enticing plot. Read it!

THE VIRGIN SUICIDES 

This book, I didn't find as compelling as 'The Girls'.  I could easily put it down but I like the story line. It is quite bizarre but nice and I really liked the narrative, it was a unique one. It's written in first person, a constant use of 'we' yet are never fully introduced to the narrators but as the novel progresses begin to recognise who they are, but are never individualised which I found so bizarre because how could a book be written in first person yet the narrator have such little individuality! Its about the Libson sisters who, as the title suggests, end up committing suicide. They begin as a normal family, but when the first sister commits suicide their mother is overly protective and the whole family become isolated from the neighbourhood, making them intriguing to the boys who do what they can to find out more about the girl. It is a good book, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have the first time. I ended up reading a lot of articles after it which I think definitely helped me like the book more once I realised how many symbols and themes I was blind to before. It is definitely a book I will be rereading. I think that this is a good book to read if you want something with a feminist take, I read a really good article about the concept of the 'male gaze' regarding this book and I just found it so interesting. 

HIGHLY ILLOGICAL BEHAVIOUR
Despite this book handling mental health issues, I personally found it a much lighter read than the other two. Not emotionally but just this one was pretty what you see is what you get, the other two had much more deeper meanings, I could be completely wrong but that is just my opinion. I read Where Things Come Back by the same author and loved it, and when I saw on Sarahs blog (whose book reviews I trust immensely) I just had to get it.  It switches between Soloman and Lisas narrative, I usually like that in a book. Soloman suffers from agoraphobia and Lisa is a psychology student who wants to help Soloman overcome his phobia. I'm not sure how much I can reveal but there is ups and downs in the friendship. Lately a lot of books have a mental health focus, as does this book, and although it all kind of comes back to Solomans agoraphobia, it isn't the main thing about the novel and there is so much more than just mental health. It deals with quite a few issues but in a lighthearted way. I really liked the characters and cared about them a lot, which I find important in books. It was easy and enjoyable and heartwarming and just such a pleasant read. Although there was one part that made me teary and I had to go get a cup of tea to calm down.

I'm never really sure how to write about books on here but, these were good books that I think you should read. Also, my sister is in labour! In my next post I'll be an auntie!

Best Parts of 2016

4 January 2017

2016 Recap
Hello! Happy new year and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I can't believe it's 2017, so much is going to happen this year. I got a levels, university, my sister is having a baby. I would say my 2017 goals, but honestly they're pretty much always the same. Get back into exercise, I'm determined to get strong enough to do at least 5 pull ups. At the moment I can just about do one, how am I meant to hold my niece/nephew with such weak arms! And also to be a regular blogger, in my mind I have a rough plan on how I will do that, whether it works out is another story. Oh another goal is to get good at wearing heels. Adventurous I know, but I am a weakling when it comes to heels but hopefully by the end of this year I will have moved away from the small pair of chunky heels that I always wear.

I thought I would do a round up of 2016, but then figured if it was a roundup it would have to be in chronological order and I have no idea what happened when so I'll do highlights of my year. Wow, it's really hard to pick the first one because I feel like it will be the most significant one but I can't think of  anything anymore and don't want to be judged for whatever I think the best part of 2016 was for me, so I have decided to just dive in.
  • My sister got pregnant.
  • I finally saw Twenty One Pilots in concert, as well as Years and Years and many other great bands.
  • I discovered Honest Burger, possibly my new favourite restaurant, it is very hard to find gluten free onion rings, let alone ones that taste that good!!
  • I got closer with some of my friends and made new ones. It's nice to solidify friendships, and reach the 'best friend' stage.
  • I went to Athens with my college, possibly one of the best trips of my entire life.
  • I met (well technically we met in 2015 but I never really spoke to him) my boyfriend (oh so cringey typing that) Michael and he's pretty cool
  • I went to Reading festival and had an incredible time. To be honest, I think just the summer in general was super fun for me.
  • I sent off my UCAS
  • I discovered some foods and learnt how to make spicy cauliflower. Not that big a deal but oh boy do I love spicy cauliflower
  • I rediscovered how much I love English lit. During first year a-level I hated it, now I can't get enough of it

It is always a constant struggle of mine to find photos. Oh but exciting stuff, maybe not to you but hey ho, I have ordered a planner (after seeing how great Lucys looked). Maybe 2017 will be when I become organised. So far not, but we're only four days in, so it doesn't really count. Also funny stuff whilst looking through pictures, I remember last year new years I took a photo of me kissing my friend on the cheek and, not to brag, but my bone structure looked so good and throughout January to March, I have a bunch of photos of me kissing my friends on their cheeks, attempting to recreate the perfect bone structure photo. It never happened again though. 

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