A Rambling Post

7 November 2017

I have so many saved blog posts ideas but none are complete and for some reason the past few weeks I have found it so hard to write. I think I need to get the rambles out of me so that I can write something worthwhile. I also keep missing daylight- I leave for work whilst it's still dark and when I come home it's dark all over again. This is a strange feeling as the only moments of light I experience are when I go outside briefly during my lunch break, as I don't have much reason to leave the area of my office.




The past few weeks have been weird, but I blame the strangeness for last weekend on the fact me and my boyfriend broke up. I wanted to write a blog post about how to get over a breakup, but it would be like me trying to teach someone how to ride a horse. Fuck knows. But to be fair, I am getting there. I'm also struggling with the amount of hours I work, as it doesn't leave much free time for me to actually go about my gap year ambitions. I have been writing more, though not creatively. I think any form of writing is good though as it's good to capture emotions in the moment so that if I'm ever writing I can use snippets of these wanderings from my mind which are honest and raw.

I think in some way I have made some progress for my gap year as writing is getting somewhere and me and my friend are planning on travelling. Whether it happens or not is another story, but it's a nice thought. I want to do Camp America but time is slipping away- I need to get a note from my doctors but I have had no spare time. My days off are filled with me going to visit friends at university which is really lovely to be fair. I just really love my friends and seeing them in an environment which is only going to better them makes me happy. Funnily enough though it doesn't make me jealous seeing my friends there. University is weird to me as I want to go but part of me doesn't. I'm not sure if it's the fact I'm probably not doing the most worthwhile degree, nor am I overly good at English. I'm placing it purely on the fact I enjoy reading books and articles about books and that when I understand novels better I may be able to write one myself. Then I'm clouded by self doubt though and the fact that loads of people have this dream and what makes me any better than them? Not much. In fact- very little as I never write creatively. I'm a babbler, not a story teller.

My head is filled with so many things I want to do but something is always stopping me. Very minor things may I add as right now I'm too frustrated at the fact I have a messy room to do anything productive. I might write a list and write in my notebook, I bought a notebook to help document things- not act as a diary though. I find typing my thoughts more fun than writing because when I'm writing I begin to scribble and it becomes incoherent and my hand begins to ache. When I type though, my fingers can keep up with my thoughts, meaning nothing will ever go unsaid.

My plan for this week are to pick up my disposable pictures, get some photos printed, find either a Spanish or writing course. This reminds me someone commented on my blog who I never replied to. I usually do reply, I think it's just because I've been a lazy mess lately. But not for much longer. I think the first step to get over this is to tidy my room. Adios amigos!

12 comments

  1. seeeeriously girl - a tidy room is the first step to a tidy mind! there is something SO damn therapeutic about tidying up your space, it always makes me feel a million times better.

    sorry to hear about your break up, they totally suck. but it sounds like youvev got some friends around you and are definitely keeping busy, time is definitely the best healer ♥♥ follwoed very closely by a killer-fun summer at camp america, i bet!

    katie. xx lacoconoire.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Posts like these are sometimes the most beneficial posts there are! Honestly the amount of time that it is dark is throwing me off to. All I wan't to do is sleep and cuddle up in blankets all day and night. Getting photos printed is something I need to do more of. I usually just keep the photos on my laptop but it feels better to have them printed. Looking forward to reading more soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this Thursday is when I'm finally going to go and get these photos printed- hurrah at long last! It's so nice to have them printed, then such a nice surprise when you look over them.

      Delete
  3. okay, first - that is the cutest puppy ever. second, good luck w ur breakup girly! i know its hard and it will be for a while, but then u do eventually start to feel better. but then another wave of sadness hits you. its filled with highs and lows and im not even sure if i know how to get over one, but i guess just time heals all wounds! lastly, i feel u the university issue. i currently go to nyu, but sometimes feel like im wasting a degree by trying to study like journalism or something when my thoughts are everywhere and im not sure what i even want to write.

    afuckinglook.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think any degree is a waste as it will always help your future no matter what you do!! Also thanks for the puppy compliment and break up advice- I feel you, definitely filled with highs and lows!x

      Delete
  4. your dog! it's so cute!! I want!!!

    the missing out on daylight really got me thinking...we work and work until we don't take our environment and surroundings in at all, just barricaded and greeted by darkness. I do hope the travelling plans you have will work out, it sounds like it'd be an amazing time. please share your disposable camera photos (I love personal posts) !!! También, buena suerte con su tarea de encontrar los cursos de español, espero que encuentre una buena opción ;) siempre puedes practicar conmigo!

    Dalal // monochromedaisies.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!!! Aha, gracias- son muy difícil encontrar buen curso pero (okay can't do any more and I've forgotten all grammar) I'm going to look again later! Also not trying to brag but the last part of your sentence I understood even without google translate. Bitch I will practicar contigo (I feel like when you're embarrassing uncle tries speaking a foreign language aha I'm very rusty) x

      Delete
  5. Sometimes its so good to just write everything down, and ramble about life musings and whats going on in your head. I think I should take my own advice when I say that and write up my own post to be honest, because I have so much going on in my head right now its crazy. I'm always here for a chat if you need me!

    Lucy | Forever September

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lucy- you definitely should do that!! It's very comforting!! x

      Delete
  6. Hey doll, so sorry to hear about your recent breakup. It seems like you won't recover now but you will, trust me. If you ever need a chat, please feel free to DM me on twitter! Don't beat yourself up over not writing too many posts, I have been awful lately due to university maddness and it's also good sometimes to just ramble out your thoughts!
    I definitely think you should do camp america as I have heard so many wonderful stories on it!

    Tabitha x
    http://www.whattabithaloves.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  7. First of all your lil pup is the cutest!! secondly, hope you get round to doing all thr things you want with your gap year! even though you work alot, your job sounds like such a good experience!

    Tasha x
    lovefromtasha.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting! I read them all and try my best to always reply x

Latest Instagrams

© Libby-Jade. Design by FCD.