The Party Never Stops

26 April 2018

I'm in a funk, a sort of funk, not an over bearing funk but a funk which is making writing very difficult- which is strange because all I want to do is let you guys know about this great play I've been reading, but I am unable to write about the play or anything I particularly want to write about. It's strange, because I want to write. I had to google blog post ideas. Needless to say, all the makeup orientated post inspiration didn't inspire me. I've been wearing the same makeup pretty much my entire life, the occasional replacement of a product if I find out the brand isn't cruelty free. I'm going to have a bitch n a moan instead. 

I have found throughout my teenage years, many adults tell me to enjoy being a certain age, how being this age/ being at high school was the best time of their lives so I should live my life to the fullest and enjoy being that age. Although they don’t mean it, in my head I automatically think they mean that I should be getting as smashed as I can before I begin to get proper hangovers. I know that’s not what they mean, well I assume it’s not what they mean, but either way I think it’s dumb for adults to infiltrate our brains and trick us into thinking the younger years of our lives are going to be the best. I don’t really know how to explain, I struggle to be eloquent. I feel like adults have made growing up seem to be so void of enjoyment which, consequently, creates this pressure to make every moment of youth as fun as possible and has also created an unjustified fear of getting older. I think my ‘beef’ (if you will) with the pressure to enjoy being young, is that it makes me doubt myself in a way. By the time I’m older I will have a kinder brain (make it a statement, not a hope, make it a reality!) but will it be too late? Am I going to look back on my life and feel regret as a lot of my nights out were when I was young and didn’t enjoy them as much as I 'should' have, am I going to regret cancelling on my friends in order to give my brain a break because in adulthood it’s a lot more difficult to see friends? The questions are endless, but I think the answer is going to be no. I don’t really know how to explain, just either way, it’s dumb to associate youth with fun and it’s dumb to tell people to enjoy being a certain age, as it makes them scared to leave that age. Oh to be young and in love, oh to be young and free, oh to have a beautiful youthful body- well bitch, I know for sure I’m going to be 64 years old slamming tequila shots, having sex, wearing a bikini, feeling in love and feeling great. Why do people make getting older seem so bad? Yes, with age comes responsibilities (ew) and health problems and all that shit, but I don’t know, it just seems dumb to put ‘having a good time’ in only one section of life.

Whilst I am ranting about the general perception of age, I will also rant about my perception of age. It annoys me that my brain associates certain milestones with age, when in actuality, these milestones aren't going to be met by that desired age. I feel like with goals, my brain doesn't take it into account that the situation is important, all it does is focus on the age. But success can come at an older age, anything can come with an older age, but why does my brain think I have to be settled down and meeting my dreams by 30? It's stupid and I hate whoever started the idea that success is an age dominated thing, rather than just a general 'this is where you life is' thing. Makes sense? Probably not.

enjoy first photo of me being 19 in which my legs look really long, but don't be fooled, I am actually a very average height
A rant? Brain vomit? I don’t know, getting older is weird but I know great years are to come and that the fun doesn’t stop just because I’m beyond 35 years old and that even if I don't meet my dream until I'm 67 it still doesn't make my achievement any less significant. Peace out!

1 comment

  1. yes!!! i totally get this feeling all the time and it puts so much pressure on me. I'm so scared of growing up but I can't quite put my finger on what specifically I will miss about being young (i think some of it is the newness and experimentation and everything's so fresh and inexperienced???) but its definitely partly because everyone tells me that growing up is shit. This is definitely a mood I've been trying tot write about lot recently and have always failed so thanks for getting it written down!!x


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