exciting things about university

27 June 2018

I currently feel horrendously dissatisfied with the fact my gap year is almost over. In a way, it's already over because if I were at university I'd currently be on summer so idk, either way my time of being a free bird is almost over and I'm not too happy about it. I just feel like I didn't do many of the things I wanted to do in this year and I wish I had more time to work and to travel, but I also can tell I need to go to university. For some reason, to me, the end of this year signifies a loss of freedom but then I realised that was dumb. If I wanted another year off, I could take one, but the only point would be to travel more, and I can do that after university. I keep getting so blinded by a fear of university that I forget it's actually an incredible experience that is (hopefully) going to hold so many great opportunities for me. To be quite honest, I am scared shit of exams and despite never achieving top grades where they are most necessary, I still feel a need to get top grades all the time, which is dumb and unrealistic and creates an unnecessary fear which consequently leads to massive doubts about uni and education and ahh! I'm also scared about making friends at university, I'm worried about flat mates, I'm worried about money, for being judged about my degree, grades (if only I could be permanently protected from any form of grading/judging system), I'm worried about my health and how I'll most likely be too lazy to stay healthy. An overall sensation of panic seems to tear away any form of reasoning when I think about university and it makes my brain worry about shit that's not even important. However, I am currently in a blessed moment of clarity. University isn't being forced on me and I feel so frickin ready to go

this photo is relevant as it was me at the beginning of many drinks which lead to my revelation that  I need to stop being such a wuss when I think about university. also I needed a photo to add and my friend has my camera. :)

-Meet new people! Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I feel like this year a lot of things have happened and the distance between me n my pals have made friendships a little bit harder, but it made me realise how much I love my pals and what I value in friendships but I also feel ready to meet new people. I have discovered there's so many different types of people who I've never really met and I want to meet these sort of people and I reckon Leeds will have such a variety of people. Also, I'm glad I've sort of figured out more about myself/ the people I like as I'm hoping it will help protect me from bad friendships in the future. It sounds lame saying I've realise what I value in a friendship but it's true!
-Learning is sick, I miss learning. I miss writing an essay and feeling proud, of learning new things and telling my friends fun facts. I'm still not entirely sure the degree I've chosen is right for me, but I have had a whole year to create doubts about it, so it's understandable that I'm not sure.
- Partyin!! I love to party, I love dancing, I love getting drunk, I love walking the streets at 4am talking absolute shit with friends. I love waking up after a night out and having a shower then getting back into bed. I hate the drunk paranoia and I hate how embarrassed I feel the day after I've been drunk, but I love a good boogie.
-Similar note to new people, but new boys! I'm not hoping I'll find love at university but I am hoping to find a Robert Pattinson doppelgänger
- Although having to sort out a house for second year is terrifying as heck it's also so cool to imagine living in a house with pals (lets just hope that actually happens)
- I just really want to make friends for life. One of my friends is at university and her time, although hard, seems to be filled with wonderful people and I want that.
-I want more opportunities, I want to see more plays and get involved with societies. I'm excited to push the boat out (the boat being me) and test out new things, even though I'm a pussy, the thought of being part of a uni newspaper, or trying out debating or just trying anything new is so exciting.

Give me that newness!

I get worried when people who are at uni/have already been, tell me stories about how great uni is because I'm worried my experience won't hold as many great things as theirs, and that if I listen too closely to their stories that I will expect such a great turn out form uni and will ultimately be disappointed if I don't get the same, but university is three years. Maybe even four! I don't want to jinx it by saying that in those 3 years it's inevitable that I'll meet good people and have a good time, but I am really hoping its true. Peace !


  1. I think university life will surprise you!

    The freedom of living away from home and being completely in charge of your life... it's really nice. I mean, yeah, there's some things to worry about, but they don't have to completely engulf your mind. Money comes and goes, you'll might get sick during exams, you'll probably not go out jogging for the first few months (or years)... but it's okay to figure things out as they happen.

    Also, about grades - don't worry at all. Nobody actually cares about your grades, they only ever ask to have someone to compare themselves to. Bad to say but honestly it's true. So if you're kinda embarrassed about a low grade, just say you got an A (or the equivalent, do you use letter grades in England?). Nobody will know the truth lol

    - Iona

  2. Ah these kind of things have all been running around my head too these last few months. I get a sudden nagging feeling that holy shit maybe I can't do this and exams will be mega hard and I'll be stressed all the time. The one thing that has gotten me over that is just forcing myself to believe in myself, because I deserve that and heck if I believe I can do it I will do it! Uni will be a blast and just make sure you appriciate every moment fun and hard because it's only for three years and then it'll be over for good and all the seriously serious life shit begins. So just have some fun! Fuck up every now and then and just try your best :))) Plus you'll have loads of blogging peeps who are going through exactly the same thing. Being 23 I feel like it'll be harder for me to make friends as I already live with my boyfriend and won't be partying as crazily (but still quite a bit).
    It's nice to read someone has similar concerns to me haha!!

    Louise x

  3. LIBBY I FEEL YOU, man gurl firstly we are going through this together which is a reassuring thought (i mean lets be real you've been my gap year reassurance for the past year seeing as I knew no one else taking one) 'nd they are for sure natural feelings–its such a big change in life! I feel exactly the same about my friends having the 'best years of their life' and i worry that mine wont be. Last year I reminded my friends that 'its just another part of life' and will have the ups and downs that life will have and i think its important to remember that. That being said I know you will thrive in that envinroment because you were born ready for that shit and I have a GOOD feeling. We in it together sista xox

  4. After completing my first year at uni, I can tell you're gonna love it. There is so much newness to soak up and its a totally different vibe to school/college due to all the freedom you get. I mean, if you don't fancy getting up and going to your 9am then well...whos gonna stop ya?!

    Lucy | Forever September

  5. girl all these thoughts are valid!!! university is scary, but its also so FUN! there are times when u feel alone n sad n scared for the future n everything u have planned or u think ur not doing as well as u should be, but it cancels out with all of the experience u get! its basically pemdas. i met some of my favorite people at NYU and im soooo happy about that. the drunken nights are never ending n u have support from people who are going thru the exact same thing!! it will b okay, just breathe n take it all day by day. im sure u'll be just fineeeee! i am also looking for a robert pattinson look alike so im crossing my fingers for the both of us <3

    a fucking look

  6. YOURE GONNA LOVE IT AND ACE ALL YOUR UNI WORK!! honestly, it is scary actually going but I was so shocked and happy with how quicky you make friends (like within weeks/days) and how easy it is to settle in. I keep calling it home, its home from home. I get why you're worried your experience won't live up to everyone elses great uni stories. Every uni will have a different experience but I know you'll love yours. oh and defo join a society! I regret not joining one coz I was too scared to join without knowing anyone there but that defeats the object!

    Have the best summer gal, maybe I can come up to London and we can have some cocktails!!??

    Tasha x

  7. ahahaha, the part about the Robert Pattinson doppelganger. Honestly I hope you have better luck at uni than I did, the pool of guys in my course/at my uni was so meh...

    Julia // The Sunday Mode


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