life shit

8 June 2018

I realised the other day that it's been a year since I done my exams and I just find that so fucking weird. I still have nightmares about exams, I wake up in the middle of the night stressed because I haven't revised at all, but of course I haven't, I've got no exams. I wonder how I'm going to cope with university if I'm still being haunted by A-levels, but I guess we'll see! To be honest, I'm just shocked it's June and my gap year feels over in a way and I haven't accomplished much but at the same time so many things have changed that 'accomplishing' anything seems ridiculous as too much has changed for anything to stay the same long enough to reach some sort of goal in that area. I don't know. Confusing!

good shit
-My friends are returning from uni, and I've missed them. Although something feels weird about them returning. I don't know. I feel like I've changed, I've found comfort in my own company and not having plans but now I feel a pressure to have plans when I don't always need plans. I also don't really like change, and we've all changed and, I don't know, I just feel like this summer is going to include a lot of accepting changes, whether they be good or bad. Maybe this doesn't belong in this section. I'm excited to have all my pals back though.
-Drinking green tea in bed whilst watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine makes me happy, although now I've finished Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I'm not sure what to do.
-I can enjoy summer, there is no pressure of exams.
-I feel a lot of love for my friends at the moment
-I have mixed feelings about university, but I'm beginning to have more good feelings than bad and I'm excited to meet new people
- I had a really good night out with my friend the other day and then we spent the whole of the next day on my couch with duvets cuddling with my dog. It's the type of day I used to dream about, a day completely free of responsibility. It was bliss.
-Weather is warming up so I can wear my cute ass cardigan



exciting shit
-I'm going to a gig Tuesday night with two of my best friends, just a small gig, but I'm excited. I don't appreciate London enough, and the other week I went to a free gig in Soho, and it was just so cool. It was really groovy and liberating and there's just something special about walking through the darkened streets of London on a week night with just your pals. I can't put it into words, but walking in the dark, warm summer air makes me a feel a certain way. It makes me feel like I'm the only person who exists, and whoever I'm with. A comforting state of solitude. I'm looking forward to the gig, and for walking at night in summer.
-I love the cinema. I love going to the cinema late at night. It is a simple thing that fills me with so much joy that lately an excited movement takes over my body the day before going to the cinema. Aka, I have to do an excitement dance, which is lame because it's the cinema.
-I'm going to a festival with my friends and I felt nervous about it before but now I'm excited. I wish I had more money so I could book more trips and shit, but all trip booking has to wait till pay day (which sucks)

other shit
I don't know. I wanted this to be a catch up post but it's hard to do a catch up post because I feel like there hasn't been much to catch up on. I like to do these posts as I find them therapeutic, laying out my life and going over things that have happened lately. It hasn't felt as therapeutic this time, but I think that's because there hasn't been much to catch up on.
-I'll just put this here. I find less comfort in the thought that good things happen to good people and vica verca. I would like to have some sense of blind faith that the universe has my back and everyone will get what they deserve, but I don't think that's the way life goes. It's annoying. I'm not overly woke or anything but ah man do I wish I had more of that childhood naivety left.

9 comments

  1. I know exactly what you mean about how blissful warm evenings are, everyone is out enjoying the evening warmth and you feel so relaxed...
    Can't wait to hear more about this festival!
    Louise x

    Http://ribbitsaidthefrogcalledtoad.blogspot.com

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  2. Try not to worry about uni, it's a whole different routine and you'll find yourself fitting into it as you settle. Focus on what sounds like an amazing summer for now and know that not everyday of summer needs to be spent outside with many plans, you can still have idle days inside alone, that's okay as well, the sun will still be there! Also that is a cute cardigan and I hope you enjoy your music festival and gig ect, it's take-it-easy time now and once you've got to grips with that you'll be okay! ✨Marbl☾☽Moon

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  3. Hope you're well Libby! This warmer weather and summer is the best, it makes everything seem more achievable. It's the best not feeling guilty about doing nothing too. Uni will be so different to a-levels, all my friends say how much easier it is; it'll be a new lifestyle too!! Can't wait for all the summer posts to come xoxo
    www.lexiealexandra.com

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  4. I love going to the cinema! My boyfriend and I are even thinking about getting the vine world unlimited cards because we seem to be going so much at th moment! University is a nerve racking yet exciting adventure and I'm sure you will enjoy it! Xx

    http://www.whattabithaloves.co.uk/

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  5. ahhh i kno exactly what u mean about being excited to see ur friends, but also scared of the changes. coming back home has been nice and i love seeing everyone, but im realizing our personalities have suddenly changed SO MUCH. n now im scared its not as compatible as before, which is weird bc were still the same people, but i just get so much more irritable lately. i guess its just growing up tho n change can be good. n if we can handle a summer of changes then mayb these friendships really will last a lifetime? idk im just rambling at this point. ALSO college is so much fun!!! it seems scary, but personally it wasn't as bad as i thought. u'll do great i SWEAR <3

    a fucking look

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  6. I always love reading your life update posts Libby, always so real! I remember doing my exams and dreaming about days where I could chill on the sofa and not worry about anything, pure bliss that I'm getting to do that at the moment!

    Lucy | Forever September

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  7. I completely get what you mean about getting nightmares about exams, I finished my A levels 2 years ago and still get nightmares about them. Lol green tea in bed is the best thing ever, literally drinking a cuppa of it right now! And if you're looking for shows to binge watch I deffo recommend Friday Night Dinner now it's so funny! Loved this post :)

    http://izzyk1998.blogspot.com
    http://izzykreviews.blogspot.com

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  8. I love reading catching up posts!! How good does it feel to be done w exams though!!
    http://sputniksweetheartn.blogspot.com.au/

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  9. This post is definitely in my list of good shit, I loved reading this! And your cardigan is the best thing EVER , I love it !! And you can’t say no to a free gig, nothing beats walking in the dark in the summer months!!
    Kate Xxx https://www.luxekate.com

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