Losing Friends Is Inevitable

1 October 2017

I was scrap booking earlier- I wasn't meant to be I actually have quite a bit of work to get done- but in the process of sorting out my photos I've realised that I've lost a lot of friends. It's weird though, because I couldn't care less. Obviously I hope they're still doing well but I think that once you get older and you don't have school to force a friendship anymore, it's so much easier to cut ties with people whose friendship didn't make you happy and that it is a perfectly okay thing to do.

this is just a random photo of me and my main bitches in Berlin because I don't have any other photos to use 
After my GCSE's I switched schools, the majority of my friends stayed at my old school and only two of them I'm still in touch with today, and the conversation is sparse. I don't really regret losing any of those friends though which is weird because I used to be so dependent on those friends. Then when starting college I made friends and now my friends are at university it's helped me figure out who my true friends are. Not in a bitchy way- there are people I'm lowkey friends with, but I definitely have lost friends but got more solid ones, that's for another post though because this is going to be a moaning post.

The thing about some people is they make it so obvious their priorities don't lie with you- and during college I would be so desperate to keep these friendships because I would always be with the same people, but now there is no pressure to be friends with people who make it obvious I'm not their number one priority. Don't get me wrong- I know the whole world doesn't revolve around me, but what I mean is the type of friends who say 'maybe' to plans because they're waiting to see if anything better will come up. People could at least lie- honesty is the best policy but it's just rude to hit someone with a maybe unless there is a genuine reason. Another thing that's on a similar wavelength
is when people I'm friends with have complained to me that they have no friends which raised the question: what the hell am I? But some people- they have friends but they just aren't friends with who they want to be friends with, which is rude to the friends they have. It's cool to be upset about losing friends, but it just bugs me when people say they have no friends when that's not the case. And there is always a reason for friendships ending- when people make out that the end came as a shock it makes me shocked because a friendship wouldn't end over nothing!

another random photo of me and my friends living it up in the pub (big up my pal in the back with her fishbowl cocktail)

Another thing that I noticed is how true some teen movies are- so and so gets a boyfriend and it's goodbye friends! They come back when they have a fight and are upset with their boyfriend, but aren't there for anything else. I'm happy if my friends have boyfriends, but not when I'm blown off all the time- or even worse when people say their boyfriend is busy that night so 'yeah I can see you'. I think it's important though to call people out for this, because some people don't realise they're ditching their friends and being called out they'll realise their mistakes. It's only if after they get called out and they still continue to ditch you it's time to reevaluate the friendship. It's just, as I've gotten older I've realised school was the only thing gluing me and some friends together as we were incapable of maintaining it outside of school. Maybe due to a boyfriend or maybe just the general lack of effort. My advice to you guys is don't try to cling onto a friendship where no effort is put in on the other end because it's boring and annoying and also so frustrating to constantly be made to feel inferior to other friends.

I won't lie- I'm one of those people that wants to be liked by everyone, however I'm getting over that now as I discover people I don't like. I would never go out my way to be spiteful and if there's anyone I don't like I won't act on the dislike because it's so easy to be nice I don't see why people go out their way to be nasty. I feel like this post makes me look like a bitch. But reflecting over my school life I've realised how acceptable it is to just say no to a friendship if it isn't a good one. Obviously don't like boycott them and stuff, but letting a friendship die is sometimes necessary. 

Side note: all these people in these photos are still my friends (imagine how awkward if they weren't) and I love them very much!


  1. school is 100% a tie that binds most friendships, you don't even realise until you don't see them everyday that you were friends because it was easy, because they were there, because you were comfortable but not because you can actually be bothered to make an effort to see each other. The hardest part, that I'm sort of coming to terms with, is when you still really care for that person and love spending time with them but they don't put the effort in on the other end, but I'm learning to just relax, let that friendship go where it needs to go. Its kinda exciting that we can make all these new friends but also terrifying that your major reliance won't be there by your side.
    hope you get your jobs done!!!

  2. So much yes Libs! You've written this so well, and articulated every single thought I've had about this topic. Love you <3

  3. I've moved schools so many times and I honestly haven't stayed in touch with many of them, but I think thats totally fine because I've made so many new friends!
    Aleeha xXx

  4. I always like the phrase that says you have friends for a season, a reason or a lifetime. And those lifetime ones are so rare! It's so natural as you grow up and move apart that things wil change, but then you get more time to make new friends! x


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