I Am A Free Woman

I'm back! I took a break during exams (and the lead up to exams) because my life was just so busy! Well, I wasn't even doing much but just never had much time to write posts, nor did I have anything really to write about. My life plateaued during exams, nothing exciting was happening really just revising and stuff, nothing worth blogging about! But now I am a free woman! Although it feels strange, to never have to touch my notes or any of my old things ever again. Especially since I'm taking a gap year, I don't know, just feels so strange! Although I feel like I'm going to have to redo my psychology exam because I found them all so difficult and in my last paper I accidentally missed out six marks because I just kept flicking past the page! My heart actually sank when I realised, I even swore under my breath then got worried I was going to get kicked out for talking because as soon as I realised we had to put our pens down! It was the worst. But, oh well, it is all over now, and if I need to retake, I can.

I can't remember how to properly do this so the Flickr thing doesn't come up whoops 

In my absence, despite my life being extremely non exciting, a few things did happen.

1) My dog died, it came as a complete surprise but one morning she just woke up extremely ill then she went to the vet and long story short turns out she had cancer and her lil body just couldn't fight it anymore! It has been so strange not having a pup in the house, I had her since the summer of year one and now I'm in the summer of year 13! So bizarre. But we are getting a new puppy (the same breed but different colour) during summer. I doubt any of you know my dog, since I never really posted about her, which is strange because my dog was like, my main bitch (haha so witty). But she was my best pal, but she just got too poorly!

2) My sister came home with her little bubba and boyfriend. I find it strange being called auntie because I just feel auntie is way too old for me but at the same time I like the title. Auntie Libby. Auntie Libs. He is the cutest baby ever, of course I am bias, but he is the sweetest. And just so tiny!!

3) I finished exams! Like I said earlier. I wrote this post earlier but had to retype it because I was going on and on and on and on and I want my blog to get better and I think one way to begin is by writing not everything that pops to my head. And writing in general I guess.

It feels so strange to write in a non formal way again, like for ages it has either been essays or notes and now I'm free to write with as many exclamation marks as I want. What a life! Oh wait another thing that happened, I turned 18. Um what else. Not much. Well just little random things a gig I went to, my drink of the night has turned from Malibu and coke to gin and tonic. I know, I know. I am the epitome of sophistication. I'm going out in a bit, but it's annoying every night since a levels have finished I haven't been able to go ham on the drinking because I have work or a driving lesson the next day and tomorrow I have a gym class in the morning. My quest to a summer body in a week begins tomorrow. I'm sure one week will be enough to bring success. Oh I also signed up for the London marathon, I'm not entirely sure why because I haven't ran properly in ages and have never even do a half marathon let alone a 10k race so god knows how I'll survive

Primary Colours

I have been in a fashion funk for a while now aka all I wear is ugly outfits and look boring, and I want cool outfits and all but I'm always too lay to try and find any. I wore a nice outfit the other day though (well I thought it was nice and it is the one pictured) but oh gee it made me realise how much I need more clothes. Although, I am trying to save my money up, I've started selling things on Depop but I am awful at haggling and nobody ever wants my clothes they always want my sisters clothes therefore, I am not getting much money from it. Also, I think some of the clothes up there are bangin', I feel like I should be one of Depops top stars (check me out on Depop and make me Depop famous, if that's a thing, and bu all my clothes and make me rich please!! libbyjade26 is where I'm at!)

Jumper- Ragged Priest (supersuper old)  |  Polo neck-Urban Outfitters  |  Jeans-Rokit
Also can we all apprecate how good my skin looks here. It doesn't look like that at the moment but still, it's always nice to reminisce over good skin days. 

Also, I have had a realisation lately. Well, I'm not sure if it is a realisation, probably more of a thought. I think, if all goes according to plan I am going to take a gap year, and I have realised I have more reasons to take a gap year than to go to university straight away.

• I can get a cool job in retail. I'd really like to somehow get to work for Urban Outfitters or the Doc Martnes store or Lazy Oaf just somewhere in London, I love clothes and fashion and it just seems like such a nice idea
• I can do an apprentceship with a fashion company which would also be cool (and both these ways I can build up a better CV)
• I'll have more time on my hands so can do more charity work or something
• I'll also be able to earn and save up money so I can hopefully do camp America in the summer
• I will have a year off from exams after having exams for the majority of my life!!
• My sister and nephew will be home aka the Harris sisters will be reunited

There are so many other reasons but now the idea of a gap year is motivating me so much because in my head the only way I can get a gap year is if I do well in exams and it will be so nice to have a year off. Don't get me wrong I still definitely want to go to university, but a year off just seems so wonderful. Obviously I'll still be dong stuff like working and can have a year to really go to town with my blog and get back into creative writing and all that jazz. Gosh, I am so excited. Lets hope exams go according to plan.

But also side note, I've always really wanted to work for a retail company, I know people always say they're annoying but where I work now I have to handle challenging customers and ah I don't know just working in Oxford Street or Carnaby Street in a cool shop and where I can work with fashion just seems so nice. Even though I won't directly be working with fashion, it's something you know. In my head it all seems so wonderful and things don't always work the way planned out I know, but god damn I can try!

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Oh also side note outfit pictures are impossible for me to take I have to use my phone which is all fine and well till I realise I can't get whole outfit in very well! But ah I love these jeans, I got from Rokit and just need more! Well to be fair, I need real mom jeans these are just baggy jeans but I just love them. I need exams to be over so I can go to Rokit and buy every single jean I see.  Anyway, hope you're all having a good week!

Who Do I Have To Speak To In Order To Get Some Bigger Models

This is just a spontaneous post because I can't be bothered to take out my camera and take actual photos but this has been bothering me lately.

I shop at Asos a lot, I know clothes sizes vary depending where you are shopping but my god, sometimes I order things from there in my size and have to get twosizes up or whatever, even though the ridiculously tiny model claims to be wearing my size.

Maybe ridiculously tiny is too harsh a term to use. I just think, self love for all sizes is promoted everywhere, and companies say they are using bigger models but I don't think they are trying hard enough. On Monkis Instagram, they show people of all sizes and shapes wearing their garments and I love that. Give me someone without a tiny waist! Give me someone with chubby thighs or a chubby stomach I want to see all the shapes, let alone just broadening the size spectrum people use (although it is debatable whether these models who claim to be larger sizes are actually what they say to be).

It's not even about self love as much as just not being annoying. As a society we're moving past the unhealthily skinny sized models but it's not the size as much as the shape. I am not sure my aim in this post. I was trying to google about who I had to speak to for companies to get some more representation in their modelling because honestly, there is no reason for this. I don't have a particularity small waist and I still look nice in mom jeans (bad example but I'm typing this in a fit of rage), they pick the ideal figure to model clothes but all figures look good in most clothes! However I found absolutely nothing so I'm hoping someone can help me get somewhere from posting this because it is 2017 and I am sick of all the models with amazing bodies.Yes, they work hard for it but Jesus Christ I want 'goals' to be people with thick thighs and tummys and flabby arms and normal womanly (and men, this is a very female bias post but that is because I have not thought this post through, this is just pure unadulterated me baby) features! We need child bearing hips so let me some child bearing hips! And don't make plus sized models have the perfect curves. And also some short models! I hardly know any girls that are 6ft but bloomin heck do I know a lot of short ones! Give me models with impurities that aren't just to do with skin and hair, give me diversity in the figures and races!!

this is a really old photo I'm just using it as clickbait so people read this and help me figure out how to get some models with a lil more chubs

That is all. I hope you all have a good week

Some Books From 2016

Over summer I read this really good book and I wanted to talk about it on my blog, and I can't remember if I ever did. But then I figured I'd talk about three books I read last year instead, because three books seems like just the right amount. Although just because I'm talking about them doesn't mean they're the best I read from last year, I'm not really sure how I chose these books to feature in this post. Lately I haven't been reading much because I am obsessed with the TV show 'Shameless' but I've almost completely caught up, and once I have my main mode of entertainment will be reading again, probably. At the moment I'm reading 'The Bell Jar' but I always seem to read it when I'm exhausted after college and feeling confused the next time I pick it up because my brain didn't properly read the last chapter.

THE GIRLS - EMMA CLINE

I was completely gripped by this book. The narrator is Evie Boyd, a fourteen year old girl on the cusp of adulthood. Cline navigates through classic teenage issues like rebellion, curiosity and insecurity but its just such a unique book. The story line was really good, I never know how much to give away but it was more than just the story line because Cline just wrote it so well in my opinion. You know how in some books the descriptions seem endless, in this book they're so minimal but make so much sense. Also her descriptions, not necessarily made me uncomfortable but were just so realistic, I don't know how to explain. It is just an amazing book about a girl who is coming of age and ends up involved in a twisted commune and flutters between the present and the past to keep you engaged and gah. Just so well written and such an enticing plot. Read it!

THE VIRGIN SUICIDES 

This book, I didn't find as compelling as 'The Girls'.  I could easily put it down but I like the story line. It is quite bizarre but nice and I really liked the narrative, it was a unique one. It's written in first person, a constant use of 'we' yet are never fully introduced to the narrators but as the novel progresses begin to recognise who they are, but are never individualised which I found so bizarre because how could a book be written in first person yet the narrator have such little individuality! Its about the Libson sisters who, as the title suggests, end up committing suicide. They begin as a normal family, but when the first sister commits suicide their mother is overly protective and the whole family become isolated from the neighbourhood, making them intriguing to the boys who do what they can to find out more about the girl. It is a good book, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have the first time. I ended up reading a lot of articles after it which I think definitely helped me like the book more once I realised how many symbols and themes I was blind to before. It is definitely a book I will be rereading. I think that this is a good book to read if you want something with a feminist take, I read a really good article about the concept of the 'male gaze' regarding this book and I just found it so interesting. 

HIGHLY ILLOGICAL BEHAVIOUR

Despite this book handling mental health issues, I personally found it a much lighter read than the other two. Not emotionally but just this one was pretty what you see is what you get, the other two had much more deeper meanings, I could be completely wrong but that is just my opinion. I read Where Things Come Back by the same author and loved it, and when I saw on Sarahs blog (whose book reviews I trust immensely) I just had to get it.  It switches between Soloman and Lisas narrative, I usually like that in a book. Soloman suffers from agoraphobia and Lisa is a psychology student who wants to help Soloman overcome his phobia. I'm not sure how much I can reveal but there is ups and downs in the friendship. Lately a lot of books have a mental health focus, as does this book, and although it all kind of comes back to Solomans agoraphobia, it isn't the main thing about the novel and there is so much more than just mental health. It deals with quite a few issues but in a lighthearted way. I really liked the characters and cared about them a lot, which I find important in books. It was easy and enjoyable and heartwarming and just such a pleasant read. Although there was one part that made me teary and I had to go get a cup of tea to calm down.

I'm never really sure how to write about books on here but, these were good books that I think you should read. Also, my sister is in labour! In my next post I'll be an auntie!

Best Parts of 2016

Hello! Happy new year and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I can't believe it's 2017, so much is going to happen this year. I got a levels, university, my sister is having a baby. I would say my 2017 goals, but honestly they're pretty much always the same. Get back into exercise, I'm determined to get strong enough to do at least 5 pull ups. At the moment I can just about do one, how am I meant to hold my niece/nephew with such weak arms! And also to be a regular blogger, in my mind I have a rough plan on how I will do that, whether it works out is another story. Oh another goal is to get good at wearing heels. Adventurous I know, but I am a weakling when it comes to heels but hopefully by the end of this year I will have moved away from the small pair of chunky heels that I always wear.

I thought I would do a round up of 2016, but then figured if it was a roundup it would have to be in chronological order and I have no idea what happened when so I'll do highlights of my year. Wow, it's really hard to pick the first one because I feel like it will be the most significant one but I can't think of  anything anymore and don't want to be judged for whatever I think the best part of 2016 was for me, so I have decided to just dive in.

• My sister got pregnant.
• I finally saw Twenty One Pilots in concert, as well as Years and Years and many other great bands.
• I discovered Honest Burger, possibly my new favourite restaurant, it is very hard to find gluten free onion rings, let alone ones that taste that good!!
• I got closer with some of my friends and made new ones. It's nice to solidify friendships, and reach the 'best friend' stage.
• I went to Athens with my college, possibly one of the best trips of my entire life.
• I met (well technically we met in 2015 but I never really spoke to him) my boyfriend (oh so cringey typing that) Michael and he's pretty cool
• I went to Reading festival and had an incredible time. To be honest, I think just the summer in general was super fun for me.
• I sent off my UCAS
• I discovered some foods and learnt how to make spicy cauliflower. Not that big a deal but oh boy do I love spicy cauliflower
• I rediscovered how much I love English lit. During first year a-level I hated it, now I can't get enough of it

It is always a constant struggle of mine to find photos. Oh but exciting stuff, maybe not to you but hey ho, I have ordered a planner (after seeing how great Lucys looked). Maybe 2017 will be when I become organised. So far not, but we're only four days in, so it doesn't really count. Also funny stuff whilst looking through pictures, I remember last year new years I took a photo of me kissing my friend on the cheek and, not to brag, but my bone structure looked so good and throughout January to March, I have a bunch of photos of me kissing my friends on their cheeks, attempting to recreate the perfect bone structure photo. It never happened again though.